Summary:
As humans, both children and adults, we find it more comfortable to open up and talk about our problems when we have someone who listens to us and acknowledges our experiences. And by opening up about our problems, we are better able to cope with our feelings and focus on solutions.
Hence, as a parent, it’s your responsibility to help your children deal with their feelings by adopting the language of empathy. It is also your duty to encourage autonomy in your children, help them develop a great and healthy self–image, and prepare them to become responsible adults.
Listen to your children with full attention! Whenever your kids are trying to tell you something, give them your full attention. Do not pretend to be listening—stop whatever you are doing and focus. You don't even have to say anything. Most of the time, a sympathetic silence is all a child needs.
Moreover, children internalize whatever their parents say about them. When people put negative labels on kids it tends to become a self–fulfilling prophecy. For instance, if you labeled a child as a slow learner, pretty soon they will start to see themselves as a slow learner. So to help your children bolster their self–image, avoid throwing negative words at them and make sure you give them descriptive praise from time to time. Use your words to reinforce positive behavioural patterns in your children.
For Example, you cleaned up your room. What a good boy you are instead you can describe in detail what you see or feel by saying. “I see a lot of work has been going on here. Everything here is well and organised. It’s a pleasure to walk into this room. I am so impressed”
Finally, remember, the process of living or working with kids is hard and exhausting—it requires strength, heart, and intelligence.
Try this
For the next two weeks, instead of yelling at your kids, try to describe the problem to them in an observational manner.
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